Ludicrous
by AlternativePunk
Summary: ‘And then, it hit me. And this thought was so ludicrous, so completely unreal, that I knew it just had to be true. After all those days, crying, breaking, because of him, I had gotten it all wrong.’


**Please read the A/N, at the bottom of the page after you read this story okay? I need your help! I'm bored, my internet's off, and yeah. I'm bored so here's my story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****Inuyasha**

**Hope you like it!**

**Summary: 'And then, it hit me. And this thought was so ludicrous, so completely unreal, that I knew it just had to be true. After all those days, crying, breaking, because of him, I had gotten it all wrong.' Need feedback!**

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Ludicrous

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It happened, _again_. He went to see Kikyo, _again_. It doesn't bother me _as_ much as it did before, but it hurt all the same.

It was Saturday night, about 10:00. Miroku was unconscious near the fire; his face had a large, bruised hand-like print, that was throbbing senselessly. Sango was sitting in a corner, her hand throbbing ever so slightly, sleeping soundly. Kirara was curled up on her lap, her eyes closed. And Shippo was right beside her, leaning against her Hiraikotsu.

The image did seem right, but I couldn't help but notice the empty space near the sliding door, the one that was usually occupied by a sleeping Hanyou. I was sure I had just seen him no more than a mere 10 minutes previously.

I turned restlessly inside my sleeping bag, there were a million possibilities of where Inuyasha could be. I was never the kind of person that could sleep with something on my mind, so I pulled myself from the sleeping bag and exited the hut.

I walked quietly, all you could hear was the slight rustling noise of the leaves, and the occasional howl of a wolf. _I wonder if __Kouga's__ around_, I mused. Then, there was a break in the trees; and it opened up to reveal a truly remarkable clearing.

The grass was a soft green, dancing idly in the utter silence. The trees followed the blades of grass, it's leaves swaying about. Bright wild flowers' leaves fluttered soundlessly in the sea of lush grass.

The image _did_ seem right, that is, until, I heard the sound.

It was a gruff voice; the voice was trying to talk tenderly, however, it had an edge to it.

"I love you, and only you." The voice rang out, the tone familiar.

"I do no believe you, Inuyasha, you are obviously in love with my reincarnation; this Kagome." Another voice, higher, softer replied monotonously.

"That wench? Never. She is merely a copy; just a shard detector. We don't need her in our life; she only slows us down." The gruff voice said, with a harsh tone.

I could see them clearly now, although at first all I could see was flashes of silver, red, and black.

Inuyasha was standing, gripping Kikyo's shoulders tightly in his hands. His amber eyes focused only on her, he didn't seem to sense that I was merely a few feet away from them.

They kissed. It lasted for only a few seconds, but the very sight made my stomach clench, but for some strange unknown reason to me, my heart hadn't shattered; it didn't even acknowledge the sight.

And then, it hit me. And this thought was so ludicrous, so completely unreal, that I knew it just had to be true. I didn't love him. After all those days, crying, breaking, because of him, I had gotten it all wrong.

I didn't love him.

I used to, that was for sure. That day, when he had held Kikyo in his arms, and had told me, there was no more room for me here, I did love him.

But love doesn't last forever.

And my love for him dwindled just as quickly as it had started.

I stepped out from behind the tree I was concealed behind, letting the blades of grass stroke my ankles tenderly.

His head whipped around, his eyes flashed. He relaxed when he saw me.

I knew he expected me to cry, for me to run and hide, to scream "sit" or one of the many things I would have probably done.

But I just stood there, taut as an arrow. I gazed at him, at his beautiful amber eyes, trying to grab hold of the feelings I'd had for him before. But I couldn't—those feelings were out of my reach. I didn't feel a tinge of jealousy. Nor did I feel any emotion of anger.

If they loved each other, they would be together. I remembered the time I'd seen Inuyasha and Kikyo. When he'd hugged her and said he would always protect her. I remembered how I ran, how the sound of him whispering my name echoed through me. I remembered how my mother told me the story about the god tree. How it's presence keeps her together.

And of course, I remember how I'd felt. The stab of hurt, the piercing jealousy.

I knew I would never compare to Kikyo. She was better than me, more experienced…probably prettier too.

Even so, I still loved him.

But, now, I was tired of those sleepless nights, of those nights where all I could see was the sight of Inuyasha and Kikyo, holding each other, loving each other. I was tired of those nights that I felt that everything that happened—whether if it was an argument, or a full out fight—was all my fault. And as soon as I realized that, the guilt would wash over me, and I would jump back in the well, and forgive him as if he hadn't done anything in the first place.

But I was sick of it. All of it. _No more_.

He looked at me sadly, waiting for my eyes to water. I stared back at him, my eyes strong. He wasn't going to win anymore.

Time didn't exist. Nothing did. All that mattered in those few seconds was me and Inuyasha.

"Kagome…" he said, his voice no louder than a whisper. I wasn't going to run like last time, he had to understand.

"Inuyasha." I said firmly.

"Kagome, I didn't—"He started.

"Inuyasha." I said firmly again. "I don't care."

He blinked, "What?"

"I said," I repeated, "I don't care."

He still didn't seem to understand what I was saying.

"Look okay? I'm _tired_ of it. Of going back home because of you, of crying for hours wrapped in my own guilty thoughts because of you, of breaking every time we have a fight, and collapsing when I'm near the god tree. I'm just tired of it. I know I slow you guys down, I know that you're sick of having to go out of your way to save me. I know. And to be honest, I'm sick of it too. I hate feeling helpless. So it's okay alright? I. Don't. Care."

He stared at me, he didn't seem to want to understand.

"Look Inuyasha. I'm sick of it. I'm _done_. Just go back to Kikyo; take her in your arms, fulfill any of the promises you owe her. I. Don't. Care."

He continued staring at me, comprehension not once appearing on his face.

I balled my hands into fists. "Inuyasha! Listen. I'll say this one more time. I. Don't. Care."

When he finally found the will to speak he whispered, "What?"

"Don't you get it Inuyasha? I'm done."

"You think, that after everything I've done for you—protected you, helped you—that you're allowed to just leave? Wench, do you think so? Because you're wrong." He whispered.

"Go. Be happy. I won't be able to make you half as happy as Kikyo will, I know that. I'll live with that. I'm proud of that. I'm not Kikyo, and if being with you means that I have to be like Kikyo, than I don't want to be with you."

I walked away, letting all the feelings I had kept wash over me. But it was strange. All those times when I found Inuyasha and Kikyo together, right after, when I would let all my feelings wash over me, I would feel sadness. Anger. Hurt. But now, nothing happened. It was silent, nothing. Nothing at all.

It was all very new to me, and yet, I understood.

I heard the slight murmuring in the background. Picking up the words "Kill," and "Reincarnation," followed by a growl.

I walked ahead, ignoring what was happening behind me; they could do whatever they wanted to do, as long as it didn't involve me.

The cool breeze hit me, cold and hard like an arrow.

Ironic isn't it?

The minute I thought of that; the minute I compared the breeze to an arrow, I got hit.

It whizzed behind me, abruptly piercing through the silence. It was engulfed in a pink flame, as it whizzed in spirals. Then, as the arrow came in contact with my stomach, piercing the fabric of my uniform, everything fell into place.

This is what was supposed to happen.

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**A/N: Okay, I'm not sure if I want this to be a one-shot or not, I didn't exactly want to leave it like this. If it is to be left a one-shot, than well, this is what it'll look like, but if it isn't, then it'll be a ****Sess/Kag**** story. So if this were to continue, our dear ****Sesshoumaru**** will be there! **

**So, like it? Hate it? Fall Asleep in the middle? Review! **

**Love AltPunk**


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